Monday, October 13, 2008

A long, overdue update...

Hello Everyone!
I'm sorry it's been a while since I've posted on here. It's hard to keep up with explaining everything that is going on since each day brings so many challenges, joys, questions, and interesting adventures. I'll do my best to catch up on some of the recent highlights.
I have been in Kenya for a month and a half now. Time is going really fast. A long time ago, I went with some friends to the Giraffe Center in Langata, which is about an hour outside of Nairobi. It's a giraffe conservatory where they house 6 giraffes to help protect them, encourage breeding and care for the young, etc. The giraffes are so friendly. We got to hug them, pet them, and even get kisses from them! I felt like such a little kid but I loved it.
A few weeks ago, I went to Kibera Slum with a few other students for an informal tour. It was really important for me to get to see Kibera from the inside and try to dispel a lot of my own mysticism about life in a slum. We got to see a small workshop where young men were making jewelry from animal bone to make a living. They showed us the whole process and gave us each a beautiful, handmade bracelet. Their workshop consists of small logs holding up some sacks as a roof to block some of the sun. It was so simple and yet they were so productive. The man, Frederic, who showed us around and gave us the bracelets, was insistent that we never forget him and what we saw that day. He always wanted us to remember that people were working hard to make a living for themselves in Kibera. He was such an ice man and I got him ti tell me a great story about a necklace with an African mask on it, which I later bought. Later, we went to a woman's house and she invided us in to her home to sit down because it was hot out. We crammed into to her one room house and sat on her only furniture while she taught us about Ramadhan, her family, and land ownership in Kibera. She explained that Ramadhan was not just about fasting but was about reconnecting spiritually and recognizing your responsibility to take care of and give to the poor in your community. I've been wondering ever since...who is "the poor" when a woman, living a one room hut in a slum with 1.9 million people is taking it upon herself to share what little she has with those around her. It was a humbling experience and I can't say I didn't feel shame for times in my life when I have been selfish. She tried to keep us there for dinner but we had to get going. People are so welcoming and trusting here. The culture of fear that is fostered in America has taught me to fear strangers. I would never think to welcome 4 random people into my home and share with them everything I have and tell them details about my family and my struggles to survive. And yet, this woman took us in and extended such warmth to us...just 4 random students. I wish I didn't have to be afraid of people anymore. I want to un-do that damage of being raised in America. I want to stop being afraid to look at someone in the ye, to talk to them, to share with them. I want to offer what I have to those around me and meet amazing people along the way. I want my community to grow throughout my life, to extend beyond people who are just like me,...beyond some sort of safety net which I have created for myself. The social justice work needed in Africa is very different that what is needed in America.
The last thing I want to talk about concerning Kibera is what the locals kept calling "Kibera's Big Dream." Overlooking the miles and miles of brown, tattered rooftops and muddy streets sits an entire cluster of concrete, high-rise buildings. These were built 2 years ago under the government's plan of slum upgrading. People pay about 500/= (Kenyan Shillings) a month to live in their houses now and those apartments are about 5000/= a month. Where are these people supposed to get money to move into this upgraded housing? Since no one can afford it, these building continue to overlook Kibera...empty. In nice words...what a waste of money. On paper, it looks like the government pumped a ton of money into slum upgrading, but in reality, they didn't do anything that improved the quality of life for Kibera's inhabitants. A big dream I guess...
I could write so much more but I will move on for now. Two weekends ago, I left with 7 friends to head to the coast for the weekend. We took an overnight bus to Mombasa (which was about 9 hours) and we got there at 6am. We wandered around the city for a bit, bought our return tickets, grabbed some breakfast and caught a bus to Malindi...a small coastal town 2 hours north of Mombasa. The first day/night we stayed at a beautiful, deserted resort because they gave us such a cheap deal. We went swimming in the Indian Ocean for most of the day! That night a few of us went into the market and got vegetables, rice, fish, and spices and a friend and I cooked a big, stir fry dinner for everyone. It was so much fun, although we made it a little too spicy and we were all sweating through our clothes! The next day we went snorkeling in the Indian Ocean! We were out on the water for about 3 hours and saw awesome fish and coral reefs. We spent the rest of the day lounging on the beach and then got Indian food for dinner. That night we stayed at a campsite which we also had all to ourselves. The next day we toured Gede, the ruins of an old, Swahili town. They were beautiful! We caught another overnight bus and got back to Nairobi at about 6am. Somehow, I made it to class by 8:30am! It was an awesome adventure.
Since then, I 've done so many more things. I will try to write about them soon but I am at an internet cafe right now which is charging my by the minute so I will leave it at this for now. Thanks for keeping up and I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written. I'm going white water rafting on the Nile in Uganda this weekend so I will probably update about that once I return. Sending my love to all...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

POR #1 for Country Analysis

Just thought I'd post something I wrote for class. I'll try to post as much of my writing on here as possible. This is my first POR for Country Analysis. They are personal observation reports about anything we're observing/experiencing. They are short and informal assignments but I think they will still be worth sharing. We write two per week...so we'll see how many I can get on here.


Borders, Bars, and Barricades: Reflections on Safety and Security in Nairobi

Metal bars. Shards of glass. Barbed wire. Gated compounds. One way in and one way out. This may sound like a horror film but it is, in fact, what I see and experience at every moment in Nairobi. I sleep at night "protected" by barred windows, a locked door, a locked immediate gate, and a locked main gate with a security guard. The view from my room is a beautiful garden with spirals of barbed wire adorning the top of a fence. When I walk to school, every building, restaurant, and home is barred, gated, lined with fences and chunks of broken glass. There are police with guns walking the streets. It is such a violent form of security. I have never felt so confined, protected, and excluded all at the same time. Every time someone has to open a gate for me or teach me how to open my window through thick, cold bars, i am reminded that I am an outsider.
What are people keeping in? What are they trying to keep out?
I noticed my first day here the way this "security" has infiltrated every day language. I remember the comfort of my neighborhood back home--friendly and welcoming. Neighborhood. My 7-year old host cousin talks about her home in a compound. This word remains harsh to my ears. What does it mean to grow up in a compound? Maybe I am just imposing my connotations.
Beyond language, I wonder what these fences and gates mean in a culture struggling with imposted divisions and debilitating ethnic polarization. Don't all of these physical barriers just perpetuate the borders that are so destructive to Kenya? Don't they dictate who belongs in each area, further institutionalizing difference and segregation? Can Nairobi be a "melting pot" province--with all 42 ethnic groups and a drastic range of classes represented--if everything within it is sectioned off for the sake of "protection"?
I wonder, how safe are we? Why are there no sidewalks but there are rows of barbed wire in all of the bushes to scrape my legs as I try to dodge speeding matatus? I guess someone thinks those plants deserve more protection than pedestrians just trying to get somewhere. Safety? For whom? What is the price we must pay for this?
I don't feel inherently unsafe here. I am just intrigued by the measures taken to create an illusion of safety by appealing to our visual senses. It looks safe, so it must be safe, right? This phenomenon certainly doesn't start here. Borders in the name of safety. Homeland Security in the U.S. Segregation. A fence between the U.S. and Mexico. Power on the inside, exclusion and dependency on the outside. I don't know which side of the fence I live on. Is this the inside or the outside? Am I being kept in or kept out? I have never felt so confined, protected, and excluded all at the same time.


That's all for the first one. Let me know what you think. It's not formal or really over-worked...just some thoughts I had. Hope everyone is doing well. Things are still great here as I wrap up my 3rd week. Unbelievable. We're planning a trip this weekend, hopefully to Ngong or somewhere else outside of Nairobi. Simon said he'd tell me more about my internship tomorrow after classes so I'll post whatever I find out as soon as possible. I'm sending my love to all and I'll write again soon!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Some thoughts and questions...

1) Why does the development binary exit? Who gains and who loses by the categorization of countries as "developed" and "underdeveloped"?
2) What is development? Can we really use economic growth as any sort of indicator when Kenya's economy is growing at a rate of 8%, yet the people are suffering from more poverty and unemployment than in years past?
3) Who decides what is and isn't developed? What does development look like?
4) How is development linked to colonization and how does development theory and practice in Africa begin to resemble a panopticon? In many ways, I see development forcing an imposed and alien order over a supposed criminalized and subordinated people for the sake of Western control and power. British colonizers left Kenya with a centralized government after denying the existence and ability of the pre-existing, decentralized government. This new government worked in the favor of the British...a central location of power...panopticon...maintaining order from the center, but the periphery has no contact with, or access to, the center.
5) How do outsiders enter this community to work towards an alternative future with and for Africans without ever being able to understand all of the complications, especially issues with ethnic polarization?
6) Why does observing and participating in this dual economy anger me so much? How can I respond in a more constructive way to something I do not agree with but can't change right now (or most likely in my life-time)?
7) What is the role of money in development? Will it ever help or just continue to destroy by masking the problems temporarily?
8) What constitutes independence? Will colonialism in Africa ever end?
9) What is African? Kenyan? If a white Britain indeed left a black Britain after granting "independence," what does this mean for Kenyan identity? Is there such a thing?
10) What is an alternative to linear development theory, which progresses from low development to full development?

I'm not sure what to make of all of this. It is extremely overwhelming and I just keep filling up with more and more questions without feeling like I will ever get answers. I know that is the point, but it is still frustrating. I am having an extremely emotional reaction to the reality of the devastation colonizers left in their path is extremely emotional for me. Why has this entire continent been left to pull itself out of such layered destruction, brought on by outsiders, and all we can do is throw money at the problem?

A few days ago, Italy publicly apologized to Libya for the damage they created during their colonial imposition. They payed monetary reparations, which in no way repay for the damage that has been done. I believe this was the first time a colonial power had openly apologized to an African nation. This has left other African nations begging for the same response from their colonizers. Is this really what it has come down to? If only Britain would apologize and send Kenya some money everyone would feel better? It disturbs me.

An assigment Fred left a group of us with for next week: Come up with alternative solutions, which acknowledge the complications and challenges Kenya faces in the process of developing, to get Kenya out of this mess. I don't even know where to begin. I don't know how to process the magnitude of what I see around me, or how to change the lives and futures of a forgotten people.
Sorry this wasn't as cheery as my other posts, but I needed to share some of these realities and questions. I love you all and will write again soon.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Small Update

Classes are starting out really well. I've had two, 4 hour Kiswahili classes this week. 4 hours is quite long, but we learn so much in one class that it's totally worth it. I can have a small conversation in Swahili now, it's crazy amazing! I can introduce myself, say where I'm from, where and what I study, where I am currently staying. I can talk about my family. These are just a few of the things we've been learning The constructions (at least in the present tense) are super easy and I am picking up on basic vocabulary to talk about myself and people around me. It's so much fun and I can't wait to get better at it. I've had two sessions of my Country Analysis class now and it is also amazing. I have been writing about so many interesting things dealing with colonization (specifically of Africa/Kenya), democracy, economy, and development as it relates to these things. I feel like I have learned so much in the 2 days we've had class. I love it! Tomorrow we have the first class in International Development. I'll let you know how it goes soon.

Aside from classes, things are going well. I've gotten lost a few times with friends trying to find our way home but it has really helped us learn our way around the immediate area. We've gone to a few markets and malls after school to figure out what is near us. There have been 2 rain storms (out of the ordinary because the short rains aren't supposed to start until the end of October) so walking home has been a bit tricky. Many of the roads are not paved so the slightest bit of rain leaves them roads of mud. I'm getting really good at learning how to wash my shoes after being submerged up to my ankles in muddy water!

My family is still great. I am fed so much food and I'm getting to try lots of new things. The boys and I have fun reading and playing after school. Today Tua read me a book about Hugo traveling around Africa (I think Hugo is a hippo...I can't remember). It was really cute and he is really smart. The three of us played trivial pursuit and built planes and cars out of legos. It's nice to have time to spend with people just enjoying life instead of always being stressed and running around working insane hours at the theatre. Many valuable things can be learned from interacting with the people around you and taking a little time to get to know them. I think that aspect of social and communal interaction is very present here and is often lacking in America. People with stop to say hello and inquire about the well-being of someone and there family on their way to work. If the conversation continues for a long time, people will be late to appointments for the sake of this personal exchange. There are very different priorities around here. No one way is necessarily better than another, but it is a new experience for me to observe this type of social interaction. I really enjoy it.

I have been welcomed to Kenya by so many locals on the street as they wave and smile at me. I know I stick out because of the color of my skin (and am reminded of it every time someone says 'mzungu' as I walk by) but there is still a sense of warmth and welcome to the voices of many who greet me. Mzungu is the Swahili word for white person. It is not a derogatory term, it is simply a way to articulate a difference in skin color, and therefore wealth. It is interesting how everyone assumes a white person is wealthy. I guess this may be true in many cases, but there are many people, just in the area I live in, who are living a lifestyle I may never have.

The distribution of wealth in Kenya is interesting and complicated and I am still trying to figure it all out. The largest slum in the world, Kibera, is located minutes from my extremely wealthy neighborhood. It is part of Nairobi, the capital city which is considered to be the most developed area in Kenya. This dual economy...functioning in the same city is unintelligible to me. How does this happen? How can it change?

Just a few thoughts. Anyways, I guess this post ended up being not so small. I have to go now but it was great to update. Thanks for your posts everyone. I miss you guys and I think about you all the time. Mom, I hope your class is doing well and that school isn't too stressful. Dad, I hope work is keeping you on your toes, but not too busy. Rach, I hope planning for the big move is going well. I would love to see pictures of your new place whenever you know what it will be. Grandma and Grandpa, thank you so much for your email. It meant a lot to me to hear from you and I am so glad you are able to keep up with this blog. I look forward to reading about your thoughts again soon. To anyone else who is reading and hasn't been able to contact me, thank you for your support and I hope you are enjoying the little bit I am able to write about.

I can't wait to talk to you guys this weekend (mom, dad, rach...you better be home when dad calls me!) I'll post again soon. All my love.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

One Week Down...

Hujambo!

Wow. I can't believe I have already been in Kenya a week. I know that doesn't seem like much, but it is when you are half-way around the world! I am finally back in Nairobi after a wonderful week at Lake Nakuru National Park. That is about 3 hours away from Nairobi and is the 4th largest city in Kenya. We went there for orientation and it was very beautiful and relaxing. We stayed in student hostels in a compound in the middle of the national park. There were baboons everywhere and outside our compound were lions, rhinos, hippos, antelope, deer, water buffalo, flamingos, and so much more. These animals couldn't get in to our compound but we saw them when we drove around the park. It was unbelievable. Like a mini-safari in our back yard. Simon, one of the MSID Staff, said we are the luckiest group because we saw a lion 3 times and none of the other groups have ever seen a lion. I mean, this lion was walking right beside our bus...I have never seen anything like it. During our time in Nakuru we learned about the program, met the staff, got to know each other, learned a little Swahili from talking to the people who run the hostel, ate lots of Kenyan food and lots of Kenyan tea (people are serious about there tea here...mom, you would love it!) and learned about Kenyan time. Okay...time here is not the same as time in America and I am still getting used to it. One day the staff said we would leave for the downtown Nakuru markets at 10 am. An hour later, they said we would have morning tea at 10 am and go to the markets after that. Around noon we were having tea and we go to the markets around 1 pm. This was not just a one time, running late sort of thing. That is how everything operates. Church was supposed to start at 9 am today. We got there at 9:45 and the service had just started. Nothing is "on time" by American standards, but I seem to be the only one who doesn't know when things will happen. All of the locals knew when to show up for the service even though it was 45 minutes "late". I guess this will take some getting used to, but I don't really mind.
Wow, there is so much to write about I don't even know where to begin. The MSID staff is amazing. The main people are Simon, Jane, Haalif, Duncan, and Abdul-Aziz. They are such wonderful people and they have been so helpful. They have amazing personalities and I'm glad we were given a chance to get to know them during orientation. We spent our last night in Nakuru sitting around in a big circle with all of the students and most of the staff singing songs and laughing really hard for over 2 hours. They were teaching us Swahili songs and we were teaching them popular American songs. It was such a fun time and I don't think I will ever forget it.
While I was in Nakuru, I also found out about my internship. I am going to be in Mombasa (the large city on the coast) working with the Mombasa Youth Organization. They use theatre to educate the community about public health issues and I think it is focused on youth reaching out to other youth. It is a different organization than I had asked for because PATH couldn't take interns at the time, but they do basically the same thing. Simon said they will be sending details about what I will be doing very soon. I am so excited...this sounds like exactly what I want to do!
Yesterday we drove the 3 hours back to Nairobi and my host mom and one of my brothers, Eric, came to pick me up. We went to a supermarket to buy meat (ick...I have been having to force it down...actually probably the worst part about being here...so I guess I can't complain). We picked up Anthony (we all call him Tua) and came home. I live in a small compound (it's basically a gated community with about 10 houses really close together). My house is so nice. I never imagined things to be like this. They have flat panel tv, the wii and playstation, the internet (which is amazing!). I was roughing it during orientation and now this is luxury living...complete with a real toilet and shower! More importantly, my family seems really nice. They have been very welcoming and the kids are great. They seem to be having fun playing with me.
I go to school tomorrow to see the building, meet the teachers, and then take a tour of Nairobi (and buy a cell phone, finally!). Classes will start on Tuesday. There is another girl who lives in my compound who is on the program so we will be able to walk together. It is only about 30 minutes I think, which isn't too bad.
I am having a great time and starting to get used to the food. I'm not going to lie though...there were corn flakes set out for breakfast this morning and I almost had a heart attack I was so happy to see something familiar! I am picking up on some Swahili but it is going to be a long journey to learn more. I am so excited to start talking to people in Swahili...I hope I learn quickly.
I guess I should go for now, I don't want to take up too much time on their computer. Thank you all for reading and keeping up with my journey. Kenya has been amazing so far and I feel like it is only going to get better. Keep me in your thoughts and I will try to post again soon!

Kwaheri and Nakupenda!
(Goodbye and I love you)

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I am here

Hello Everyone-

I am safe and sound in Nairobi, Kenya. Don't have time for much else news now, but I will soon. Thanks for all of your love!

Love Always

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Getting Closer...

I leave in less than 2 weeks! Crazy. I've been home for about a week and even though it has been nice to be home (and for the first time this summer not working 15 hour days) I am busy trying to get everything together and I now have time to actually get nervous. There have certainly been some flaws in my master plan (i.e. my computer crashing and UofM Financial Aid making my life miserable) but hopefully it will all work out.

I'm not going to lie--the noveltly of planning is starting to wear off. I'm just ready to get on the plane because then whatever I have with me is what I use to make it work. I'm honored to have the gifts of over-analyzation and over-planning (sense my sarcasm), so I will be glad when those luxuries are taken away.